Thinking of You
by KC-Chan13
Summary: "Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you." Sora x Kairi


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. It belongs to Tetsuya Nomura. And the song "Thinking of You" belongs to Katy Perry.**_

* * *

**T**hinking **o**f **Y**ou

_Cause when I'm with him, I am thinking of you._

* * *

This didn't feel right.

I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap, my back facing him. His muscular arms were wrapped around my petite figure and his head rested on my right shoulder. His long, silver hair tickled my neck, causing me to wiggle my shoulder.

"Get your head off of my shoulder, you're tickling me..." He obeyed. I giggled, turning around to find myself looking into aquamarine. He chuckled, then proceeded in attacking my cheek with soft kisses. They went up from my cheek to my nose and I saw him going for my lips with closed eyes. Realizing this, I began to inch closer as well. My blue eyes were halfway closed, our lips just millimetres away.

Then they touched.

It started out innocently, as if we were sharing our first kiss. However, Riku being Riku, he went on and decided to tease me a little. His hands played with my red hair, then went down to my back. He pulled me closer to his body, and I felt him smile in the middle of our make-out session. He continued to explore my upper body, while I simply had my arms wrapped around his neck.

Since I had my eyes closed the whole time, I opened them only to have a wave of shock wash over me.

_S-Sora?_

I immediately pulled away.

I blinked several times and shook my head vigorously.

"Babe, are you alright?" his voice made me shiver. On top of that, he didn't sound concerned in the least bit. I looked up at him with the fakest smile and nodded.

"Sorry, I just... I think I feel a headache coming on," I pressed a hand on my forehead. "I think I should go to bed..."

"Want me to join you?" he asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Riku..."

He held his hands up in defense. "I was kidding. Well... do you need anything?" he asked. I shook my head. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then," he kissed my cheek and hopped off my bed. "I love you, Kairi." I froze at his words. I rolled out of bed and stood up to give him a tight hug, hoping that it would make up for me not saying it back.

I led him to the front door, apologizing about my sudden condition. He waved it off, telling me to get well soon. I opened the door for him and watched his figure get smaller and smaller at each step he took. When he was no longer in view, I shut the door and walked to my room with a solemn look painted on my features.

No matter how hard I try...

I always ended up thinking of Sora when Riku and I were together.

Yes, _that_ Sora. My childhood best friend. The one I've been in love with my whole life. The one who's always been so good to me.

The one whom I was able to act myself around. We would talk about the most random subjects and laugh about things that weren't even funny. He was so easy to talk to. And I remember feeling my heart flutter each time I heard his name. My friends often pointed out how red I looked whenever somebody yelled his name, whenever he talked to me or whenever he simply passed by. I couldn't help it. I remember how badly I wanted to talk him, but never knew how to approach him first. I'd think about it every day, trying to find the perfect conversation starter, waking up early in the morning to try to look cute for him, thinking about what it would feel like if he were mine. Heh, even back then... it was impossible for me to go one day without thinking of him.

But then... one day... it happened.

We became a couple.

All our friends were so happy, some even started crying. They all said the same thing over and over... "Name your children after me!" Yup. Not even a "Congratulations!" or "Finally!" That was the first thing they said. I laughed at the memory.

Sora... Being with him felt so..._ right._

He was perfect.

One of a kind. Like a burning indian summer in the middle of the coldest winter or a hard sour candy with a soft sweet center.

The one true definition of _perfection_. Everything about him was just flawless. His eyes... Oh, I wish that I was looking into them right now. Staring into them would make my knees go weak and make my heart rate go ten times faster. They were gorgeous. And his voice? Melodious, soft. He would sing me to sleep when we would cuddle in bed. What made it all the more special was that he would always sing the same song- our song.

_Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight..._

I would sing it to myself before falling asleep, pretending he was lying right next to me. Knowing that he wasn't, I would sometimes cry myself to sleep.

Our romance started so slowly, and ended so fast.

* * *

_"Hey Kairi!" Sora greeted, waving a hand as he approached his best friend._

_"Hey Sora!" she greeted back, smiling. She immediately took notice of his new attire and raised an eyebrow. "Uh... what's with the outfit? Costume party?"_

_The brunet chuckled. "I'm gonna go visit our parents for a while. You know how my mom is..."_

_"Ah, of course."_

_Aerith constantly reminded her son to act and dress like a gentleman. So whenever he had to visit his parents, Sora always took out that one box resting in the back of his closet, which contained the fancy clothes his mom got him before he moved to Destiny Islands on his own._

_"Oh, by the way..." Sora took off his signature crown necklace and held it out to the redhead. "Mind keeping this safe for me? I don't wanna forget it in Midgar again."_

_"Sure, I'll take care of it," she answered as the precious item fell into her hands._

_"I'll be back in about a week, so..." he twiddled his fingers, "Um... I... S-See you then!" he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before running off._

_A blushing Kairi placed a hand on the cheek he kissed, shocked. However, her expression soon changed into one of happiness. "See you then."_

* * *

He never came back.

A news report stated that there's been an accident in Midgar; a building that was still under construction collapsed and killed or injured several residents. I figured that was the reason for his... absence.

It's already been a year and three months since then.

And here I am now, involved in a romantic relationship with his best friend? I felt so disgusted with myself.

It hasn't even been a year, and I'm already betraying him.

I sighed. I was right; I really didn't deserve Sora.

I walked over to my desk and opened a drawer to reveal a little blue box. Inside was the silver necklace he always wore and a picture of him. I pulled the special item out, holding it by the chain, and watched it dangle before me. It reflected the afternoon sun's rays that were peaking into my room through my window. I put it on. And when I did, I could've sworn I felt a part of me come back. I then looked at the picture and felt my eyes water. That goofy smile...

A tear fell on it and I quickly wiped it away, relieved that it didn't ruin the photo. I placed it back into the box and put it back in its hiding place. I sighed. I knew I couldn't bring him back, no matter how much I wanted to. I just had to face reality.

"I need some fresh air," I said to myself. I quickly threw on a pair of Converse and walked out my door, into the humble, little town of Destiny Islands. I regretted it immediately because I was so sure my legs were going to take me for a walk down memory lane. And I was right.

My legs forced me to turn right, which led me to the park he and I used to go to all the time. I walked up to a familiar tree, smiling sadly as I traced the words that were carved on the bark.

**SoKai**

Our tree. We'd sit here together, just enjoying each other's company. Sometimes, we would have a picnic, other times we would lie down watching the clouds roll by. But my favorite moments under this tree would have to be those days he brought his acoustic guitar.

* * *

_"No! My name's gonna end up in the back of the tree! Use the 'and' sign instead of writing the whole word!" Kairi exclaimed._

_"What do you have against the word 'and'?" the chocolate-haired boy asked, turning his head to face me with an exasperated look on his features._

_"It's gonna be so easy to see! If Selphie or any of our friends see it, we'll never hear the end of it!"_

_"Then how about we just mix our names together?" he thought for a bit. "Kaiora... Sorai... SoKai?"_

_She smiled. "Perfect."_

* * *

I decided to leave after a while, not wanting to think about the painful memories any longer. I continued my path, only to bump into my girl best friend, Namine Takahara.

"Kairi! Wow, I haven't seen you in ages," she said as she dropped her shopping bags to hug me. "What're you doing around here?"

I put on a fake smile, "Just... taking a walk."

She seemed to have believed me until I saw her eyes staring at something on my neck. "Sora." was all she said.

Ah, dang it. The necklace.

She knows I'm having one of those the-world-is-falling-apart-because-_he_-isn't-here days whenever I wear or carry something Sora-related.

The blonde sighed loudly. "Kairi. Look, we _all_ miss him. You, me, Riku, Roxas, Axel, Xion and the rest of the crew. I know you miss him the most, and I know you love him, but he's _gone_. Why can't you just... I don't know, _forget _about the past?"

"Namine, you know I can't," I said angrily, fighting back the tears. "How do you expect me to forget someone- who meant the whole world to me, if you should know- that easily?"

Ignoring my previous question, she decided to ask one of her own, "You're with Riku now, aren't you at least a little happy?" she crossed her arms.

"You know I'm not." She started picking up her shopping bags, and I helped by offering to carry some. "He's gone and I'm messing around with his best friend. I'm disgusting."

"Then why did you agree to go out with him?"

"I don't know... I was hoping Riku could help me get over him, I guess," I shrugged, frowning. "But it's not helping at all. It just makes me miss him even more."

Whenever Riku kissed me, I tasted _his _mouth. Whenever I looked into his eyes, the color green would fade only to be replaced with blue. Since he hardly smiled, it made me miss Sora's goofy smiles more than ever before.

She sighed. "Kairi..."

Namine decided to join me in my walk in hopes of cheering me up. I'd be lying if I said she didn't help me feel better, if only a little. We soon found ourselves in the shopping avenue, the street where the grocery stores, shopping malls, arcades, movie theatres and restaurants were. While walking, my stomach suddenly grumbled loudly, causing me to blush and causing the blonde to laugh.

She stopped laughing and asked, pointing at a little stand, "How about some ice cream?"

I nodded. "That'd be nice."

"Hello, what flavor would you like?" the person selling ice cream asked, looking at Namine.

"Cookies n' cream please," my sandy-haired friend politely said.

She then turned to me, "And you?"

"Sea salt ice cream please."

It was his favorite.

* * *

_"Salty ice cream?" little Kairi asked. "It sounds weird..."_

_"I thought so too at first. But it's actually really, really yummy!" little Sora exclaimed, holding out his ice cream. "Try it!"_

_"It's alright, Sora. I think I'll just get some cookie dough ice cream instea-"_

_The little boy brought the snack closer to her face, and repeated, "Try it!"_

_Kairi hesitated before licking the frozen treat. "Yum! It's salty, but sweet, too."_

_Sora laughed. "I said the same thing!"_

* * *

"Kairi? Hellooo?" Namine waved a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my thoughts.

"Huh? W-What?" I stammered.

Rolling her eyes, my best friend turned to the woman and handed her a few coins. "Keep the change," she said, then walked away, leaving me behind.

I quickly thanked the ice cream seller, picked up the shopping bags- which was a real struggle, by the way, considering Namine left me with hers as well- and somehow managed to pick up my salty ice cream. I ran- more like dropped shopping bags, picked them up, then dropped them again, jog a little and repeat- to catch up to the possibly annoyed blonde.

"Hey!" I dropped the shopping bags on the ground, "Why'd you leave me with-" I began, though got quickly interrupted.

"Kairi, this is what makes me sad on your 'Sora days'," she frowned. "You ignore everything around you; it's like you're in your own little world."

I sighed. "Look... I'm sorry... I..." I rubbed my arm with my hand, not knowing what to say next.

It was her turn to sigh. "It's alright. Just... don't keep doing this to yourself. It's definitely not healthy. One day, you're gonna completely shut yourself from the world," she pointed a finger, waving it around. "That better not happen or I'll kick your ass into space," she joked, smiling. I smiled back to hide the fact that I was terrified inside. Not because of her threat-joke, but because... well... what if that day _does_ come? When I just completely shut myself from the world? When I'm left all alone?

...You know, living with twenty cats suddenly doesn't sound so bad.

We walked around the shopping mall for a while, talking about nonsense and whatnot. When six o' clock came around, the sun was beginning to set and that was when I realized it was _that_ time of the day. I handed Namine her bags and made up some dumb excuse she all-too-obviously didn't believe. She shook it off, however, and we hugged goodbye, promising to hang out more often. On my way to the harbor, I finished eating my blue ice cream and I was about to throw out my stick when I saw something written on it.

**WINNER**

Heh, lucky me.

* * *

_"KAIRI- HOLY MOTHER OF PANACEA- KAIRI!" Sora screamed at the top of his lungs, trying to get the attention of his red-haired best friend._

_Kairi stopped walking and turned around to find a brunet running towards her. "Sora? What's wrong?"_

_He stopped dead in his tracks and pulled something out of his pocket. "BEHOLD!"_

_Kairi observed the stick her best friend held before her. "...Just cause it says 'WINNER' doesn't mean you are one."_

_"Um, ouch?" he scratched the back of his head. "Well anyways, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?"_

_"Am I supposed to?"_

_"THIS MEANS I GET A FREE ICE CREAM! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" And with that, he ran off, leaving a giggling Kairi behind._

* * *

I shoved the stick into my pocket, jogged all the way to my destination and hopped onto my boat. I grabbed my paddle and pushed the water forcefully and hastily so that I'd make it to the little play island without Selphie, Tidus or Wakka seeing me. I didn't have to worry about Riku, he's probably at home sleeping as I speak, which is good, since I really didn't feel like having any company right now. I was perfectly content being all alone.

I made it to the island in a short period of time and tied my boat to the dock so that it wouldn't float away. I'd come here every day to watch the sunset, and also hoping that he would be washed up on shore just like how he and Riku found me, or just waiting for me on the docks.

But everyday, I'd just find myself visiting his grave.

He's gone, the stone marked it official, yet I still can't seem to face the truth. I keep convincing myself that he'll come back, but...

I sighed. I kicked the sand on the way to the water, where I stood just like how I used to wait for him to come back from Midgar or wherever. I sat down, curled up into a ball as I stared at the ocean water crash against the shore. That was when something in the water caught my eye. It looked like... a bottle. And there was something inside of it! The biggest smile instantly found its way to my face as one question travelled my mind: _Did he answer?_

* * *

_"Kai, the chances of him getting it is zero to none," Namine said. Man, sometimes her straightforward-ness hurt._

_"How are you sure?" Kairi asked, clutching the bottle tightly against her chest. "We don't know for sure if he was caught in that accident or not. Maybe the trains in Midgar aren't working. Maybe they're refusing to let people leave until they're sure everything's safe. I know he's still alive. I just know it."_

_The golden-haired girl admired her best friend's optimism, but sometimes it would go to the point where she refused to face reality._

_"And you're going to determine that by throwing a message in a bottle out to shore?"_

_The redhead nodded her head, "It'll reach him."_

_She threw the bottle as far as she could and the two watched as it slowly disappeared behind the waves._

_"...What if it reaches some creepy, random, pedophile?"_

* * *

Without another moment to lose, I ran over to the object, not even caring that my shoes were filling up with salty water. I picked it up, popped the cork off and shook it to get the message out. The rolled-up piece of paper fell into my left hand, which made my heart rate increase. I rolled it up slowly with a hopeful smile on my face only for it to quickly disappear and get replaced by a frown.

It was my letter. Unanswered.

Of course, instead of actually reaching a different place, it just _had_ to come back.

I plopped on the sand, re-reading my message. It was a song, actually, and so I decided to hum the tune.

_Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection..._

I seriously can't believe it came swimming back to me though. I worked really hard on it- spent sleepless nights trying to figure out the lyrics and the melody. Sora used to write songs for me and sing them to me on countless occasions, expressing his emotions and feelings through his lyrics. So I thought... maybe it's my turn.

But now, I realize how much of an idiot I really am. I rolled the paper up and shoved it back into the glass forcefully and shut it with the cork. I threw my arm back with it in hand, about to toss it out to sea again. I launched my arm forward, about to let go, when I suddenly stopped. My hand fell to my side, and I held the item so tight I could swear it was going to break any second. I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away.

I turned around and kicked the sand as I walked again, but this time, on the way to the Secret Place. As I made my way to the end of the cave, one half of me hoped that he would be there waiting for me, but the other half kept reminding me that he wouldn't be. And the latter was right.

He wasn't there. No one was. It was just me and the grave.

**SORA HIKARI**

**1988 - 2007**

The flowers surrounding it were of all sorts of colors like blue, pink, yellow and purple. They looked and smelled fresh, thanks to me; I bought new ones whenever the last batch dried up. That's just how much I care for him. I walked over to it and gently slid my hand across the top, feeling the cold, hard stone on my fingertips. With a somber look in my eyes, I sat next to it and popped the cork off the bottle to get my lyrics out. I rested my back against the side of the headstone and sang them quietly, meaning every single word.

Near the end of the song, I couldn't fight back the tears any longer. I curled up into a ball, and I cried.

Guess it's time to face reality: he's gone.

And he's never coming back.

"I love you, Sora."

I clutched his crown necklace tightly as I whispered the last few words of the song.

_In your eyes... I'd like to stay._

* * *

And after many years of playing this song on the guitar, I finally decided to make a fanfic based on it. I _really _wanted Sora to come back in the end, but I know that that would be way too predictable x]. But man, this took _so_ long to write, considering I had to change up and erase a bunch of parts (my favorite ones, sobs D:). There are actually three versions of this fic on my computer: the predictable version, the sad version (above!) and the in-universe&predictable ending. LOL hope you liked it!

Review please! :)


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